“The church saves sinners, but science seeks to stop their manufacture. ”

– Elbert Hubbard

• Grocery shopping at the 99 cent store is not just a viable option but necessary.
• Your bank statement reads like a tragedy.
• You have trouble writing checks because tears keep smearing the ink.
• The ATM makes crying noises when you access your account.
• You no longer can look the bank teller in the eye.
• You start to catalog all the organs you have 2 of or could live without to sell.
• Ramen noodles are now a luxury item.
• You find yourself paying more and more in loose change (mostly pennies)
• A coffee cup becomes a career option.
• You think nothing of ketchup sandwiches

“Life is not a bitch, its that snivelling little rat-faced punk who pushes you when your back is turn and would kick you when you were down.”

-unknown

Rodin died of frostbite in 1917 when the French government refused him financial aid for a flat, yet they kept his statues warmly housed in museums.

Good Deed: Give an elderly man, you don’t know, a ride home from the hospital.

Not so Good Deed: Give an elderly man, you don’t know, ride home from the hospital, where he just escaped from the psychiatric ward.

You know you have loser’s luck when you get a speeding ticket at a stoplight by an officer on foot.

No single straight male should ever face the ignominy of having to shop for curtains by himself.

You know you’re Egyptian, if Benny Hill was the only program you sat and watched as a family (with the exception of your mother who would hate the show)

Saying you don’t look suspicious while in an airport, instantly makes you suspicious.

Oddly enough, women don’t take being told, that they have great hips for child-bearing, as a complement.