• Ferris Wheel
• Missing baby Jesus
• Dinosaurs (and other non-farm yard animals) among the animals
• Eiffel Tower
• A Train set
• Santa Claus
• A cupid as the angel
• Adult Jesus

A fun little article about Action Park. Remember Action Park?

Those of you who were not blessed with living in NJ or have never gone Action Park, the article is not an exaggeration, if anything a little bit on the understated side. All those who ever been there would agree.

(link courtesy of d.h.)

• I would fast a whole year straight for you.
• I was on my way to the monastery till I saw you.
• You hear that, its my heart playing * when I’m with you.
• Hi I’m a doctor (works wonders on the mothers.)
• So whose your favorite pope?
• How about we meet up for Complines?

* Not as romantic if their favorite hymn is Golgotha, Aripamevi or other Good Friday Hymn

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. THE REAL WORLD EFFICACY OF THESE LINES HAS NOT BEEN TESTED. IF YOU CHOOSE TO USE ANY OF THESE LINES THE WRITER IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY SLAPPING OF THE FACE, STOMPING OF THE FOOT, OR ANY OTHER ASSORTED PAINFUL INJURIES THAT MAY OCCUR. THOUGH IF YOU FIND SUCCESS WITH ANY OF THE AFOREMENTIONED LINES, THE WRITER IS OWED A CONSULTING FEE OF $500 AMERICAN DOLLARS TO REMITTED UPON COMPLETION OF THE WEDDING. ALSO PLEASE CONTACT THE WRITER SUCH THAT THE WRITER MAY ALSO USE SAID LINE IN A FUTILE ATTEMPT AT HAPPINESS.

“Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.”

– Carl Zwanzig

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to be free
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore
This country always needs more Soylent Green

– from The Apocrypha Discordia

According to the contemporary Latin accounts of Julius Caesar’s murder, he did not say the famous “Et tu, Brute.” but rather the Greek phrase “Kai su teknon” (i.e. and you, my son)

A way to take of problems while keeping your hands clean:
http://hitman.us/main.html

“A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.”

– unknown

Do you have what it takes to be the Falafel King (have no clue what possesses a person to create a a game based on falafel)

• Learn several curses in the language of the country you’re visiting. Pepper your convertsation with them to make yourself seem like a local.
• Find out the name of the local crime lord and drop his name when dealing with people you don’t quite trust, this way they’ll think your under his protection. (Don’t abuse this though because you become a victim of the crime lord’s hospitality)
• When bribing local law enforcement. Start at the top. Bribe as high as the chain of command that you can, this way way you bribe fewer people.
• Customs officials rarely have a sense of humor.
• That cute puppy you find on the street and want to take home with you is a giant rat.
• Travel to countries that are suffering from civil unrest, airfare and accommodations would be cheaper, besides you’d have interesting tales to tell upon your return.
• If you want what happens in Vegas (or whereever you go) to stay in Vegas (or whereever) don’t take hundreds of pictures of it and/or videotape it.

“The only I will lose this election is they find either a dead women or a live boy in bed with me.”

– Eddie Edwards