“The times for conjugal duty prescribed in the Torah are: for men of independence, every day; for laborers, twice a week; for ass-drivers, once a week; for camel-drivers, once in thirty days; for sailors, once in six months. These are the rulings of Rabbi Eliezer. ”
“If, in order to rescue a person from drowning, one’s head becomes immersed during a period of fasting, one’s fast is invalidated, even if there was no other way of saving the drowning person’s life. (Islam)”
Is Mohammed Santa Claus or vice versa? (arabic)
(thanks to p.a. for the link)
“Why is it when we talk to God we’re praying, but when God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic? ”
– Lily Tomlin
“When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord, in His wisdom, didn’t work that way. So I just stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”
– Emo Phillips
“Jesus died for our sins. Dare we make his sacrifice meaningless by not committing them? ”
– George Carlin
Actual things said by Sunday School kids, I wish (for the sake of the church’s future) I was making this up but its all true.
– St. Mina was a pimp
– Jesus was born in Egypt.
– St. George’s first name was Mary (as in Mari Gerges)
– The prodigal son should has just killed himself when he ran out of money
– Deuteronomy was written by St. Paul and he only wrote two epistles.
– St. Mark’s Gospel is only 3 chapters long.
– Divorce is one of the seven sacraments
– Judas was muslim.
– Israelites wander in the wilderness 40 years because they did not use a map.
– You are mugged on weekly basis during your lesson.
– The FBI asks you to wear a wire to class.
– You watch CSI more for informational purposes than entertainment
– Abouna asks you whats RICO* and why your Sunday school kids know it better than the “Lord’s Prayer”
– Your Sunday school class finds the life story of St. Moses the Black inspirational, unfortunately the pre-repentance portion.
– “Lord of the Flies” hit a little to close to home.
– As you walk to your Sunday School class the other servants hum “Aripamevi”
– The tithes you collect from your Sunday school class is mostly counterfeit bills.
– The student try to see who breaks all Ten Commandments first.
– You feel a strong need to confess before and after class.
* Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Statute (used to prosecute Orginized Crime)
Eskimo: “If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?”
Priest: “No, not if you did not know.”
Eskimo: “Then why did you tell me?””
– Annie Dillard
“No one understands the minor difficulties a priest faces, such as never being to get a real haircut. The only day I have off is Monday and its the same day barbers take off.”
– Abouna M.B.
Not So Spiritual Words 