With a willing accomplice as you are exiting church block the doorway and keep offering to allow the other to leave first. See how long you can do this before getting shoved out of the way.

Some asked why not just tell Abouna “no you’re not forgiven” Besides cause a world of ecclesiastical trouble for both you and the priest, a true story as related to me by an older person. It occurred in their church in Egypt when they were a child. There was a priest who admittedly had no business being a priest (but those things seemed to happen quite a bit back in those days) It came to the this part of the liturgy and someone from the few people who still prayed there told abouna he refuses to forgive him. Abouna then proceeded to come down from the altar and beat the man with a shoe. (The priest in question was then as they say in Egypt sent behind the sun.) So the moral of the story is if you want to risk it make sure there are no shoes around.

During the liturgy right before the prayer of reconciliation, when abouna bows before the congregation and says “I have sinned forgive me”, reply in a loud voice “Since you’re really sorry I forgive you.” or something to that effect.

Note: This has occurred before. The abouna in question was unable to continue with the liturgy until he had stopped laughing (be warned this may not be a common reaction). Also I was no where involved with the incident.

When standing in church with a few people (best no clergy are present or involved) start staring or looking often towards the front of the church. Pick any point ( above and to the side of the entrance of the sanctuary is good). Just keep turning or looking in that direction eventually some will ask what you’re looking at. Point the area out and start describing something very vague. i.e.”I don’t know how to describe it. I just know it wasn’t there before. Its kind of like a hazy or cloudy patch right over there.” et. c. But do not be very descriptive or insistent. Be very casual and skeptical of what you’re supposed to be seeing, people would be more likely believe you then. Because of the power of suggestion some people will start to see the “apparition”. Being Egyptian they will repeat the story to friends and family with some embellishment and within a week or two someone who was not there will be telling you how they happened ro be in church that day when the heavens open and the saint du jour appeared.

Alternative: If you are very good with Photoshop or other photo editing software and have a digital camera. When taking pictures that you will be giving someone else. Alter one subtly, such as if there is a crowd scene maybe there happens to be saint hiding in the crowd or alter a cloud to look like someone/something. When giving the person the photos don’t mention anything or act as if you know anything. Have them notice it for themselves

When in church and anyone asks you anything, answer “God is Love.” If they disgree with you because you didn’t answer the question berate them for being ignorant of the Bible and/or claiming God is not love.

Using your computer make an envelope and letterhead of a fake organization (using real ones might get you in all sorts of legal trouble). But make this organization as extreme or embarrassing as possible while still remaining believable (e.g. Amateur Pornographers of America, Satanist’s Monthly, et c.) Then mail to victim at their workplace so as many people as possible see that your victim is associated with your fake organization.)

Order Chinese takeout to be delivered to a second Chinese takeout place and watch the confusion on the delivery boy’s face

When told there is no “i” in team. Reply there is one in unity.

A fun harmless means of getting even is if you know the e-mail address of your target is to register them for every newsletter/pic/joke/etc. of the day you come across. While they will be able to easily unsubscribe, the fact they sell mailing lists will keep the victim innundated with junk e-mail for weeks. (things get real interest if you have a work address and sign them up for daily e-mailings of an adult nature)