“The times for conjugal duty prescribed in the Torah are: for men of independence, every day; for laborers, twice a week; for ass-drivers, once a week; for camel-drivers, once in thirty days; for sailors, once in six months. These are the rulings of Rabbi Eliezer. ”
“If, in order to rescue a person from drowning, one’s head becomes immersed during a period of fasting, one’s fast is invalidated, even if there was no other way of saving the drowning person’s life. (Islam)”
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A Not So Spiritual guide to common deacon types you will come across.
Head banger: Willl always be seen bobbing his head up and down to the beat of the hymn. Extreme cases have been known where the entire upper body will rock back and forth. A subtype is known called the Stevie Wonder where they nod their head side to side.
Belly Dancer: Hips shake side to side while sing the hymn, becomes very pronounced when playing the cymbals or triangle.
Coyote: They don’t really know the hymn but howl along on the long parts also know as the Ambulance Siren.
Altar Egoist: Deacon who thinks he is a priest and recites all the priest portions of the liturgy, and more often then not stay silent during the response hymns. extreme cases he will even tell the priest how he should be praying the liturgy.
Confessor: Deacon who when singing a hymn has look of intense pain or constipation on his face.
Monkeyman: This deacon’s playing of the cymbals look and sound exactly the old windup monkey toys.
The Hitman: Every priest has one (or two), he is the deacon with just a wink and a nod will eliminate the erring deacon, crying child or miscellaneous annoyance.
Maestro: Deacon who makes large hand movement believing his hand motions are key to the deacons singing the hymn correctly. They are not.
Ninja: Also know as the Stealth Deacon, typically a man who does not dress as a deacon and noone expects him to know anything yet know the hymns better than those who do dress.
Parade Grand Marshall: This deacon believes he is indispensable to all church processions, you will find him rushing to carry the lead cross in in every procession, even wresting it away from any poor soul unfortunate to touch it in his presence. Extreme cases are called Pillars of the Faith they believe there can be no church rite that can successful occur unless they take part, such carrying the crowns and cape for weddings, controling the censer during liturgy et c.
Deacons may have a combination of the above traits. As with any wild creature always approach with caution, if cornered toss a deacons service book to distract them and run to safety.
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Not So Spiritual Words 