Why is it mothers don’t ever remember hitting you but yet can remember the something you did wrong 20 years ago to the minutest detail?
Author: mrnotso
Life Goals
“I have no problem subsidizing someone who sits on a couch all day reading magazines and watching television, because frankly we need people like that, but to over-educated yourself out of any hope of employement, I take issue.”
– from “Absolutely Fabulous”
Becoming God
“[Mormon forefathers] believed, as we do now, that plural (i.e. polygamous) marriages is one of the experiences you should have to become like God, who has more than one wife himself.”
– Anne Wilde, mormon author
Life in the Fast Lane
Its never ever a good sign when riding in a car with a priest and he suddenly starts driving very slow and staring at you in response to something you said.
More Extreme Bishop Questions
Sayedna,
On the way home from grocery shopping I was listen to liturgy on tape in the car when I noticed there was a loaf of bread in the back seat. Now I don’t know if its transformed to the Body of Christ or not. Please help.
(submitted by p.k.)
Your Grace
On a retreat, we braided the beard of our abouna while he was napping and took pictures. We thought it was harmless fun until he forbade us from recieving the sacraments until we give him all copies of the pictures and negatives. We think this is unfair, its not like we shaved off his beard (we decided against that). Whats your opinion?
Your Grace,
I’m convinced my entire Sunday School class is possessed. There is no way any human being can act the way they do in church, I mean the devil had more respect to God in the Book of Job than these children do. Other sunday school teachers have literally run screaming from the room never to return to the Coptic Orthodox church again. As a result I am convinced their possesion is so total that the only solution is to have my entire class burnt at the stake. Please advise.
You Grace,
There must be an effort in the church to introduce the parents to unique names for their children. In my sunday school class I have 6 Kyrillouses, 4 Minas and 3 Marks. I even seen families where every daugther was named Maryann. And calling the children by their last name doesn’t help because 3/4 the church is either Hanna or Gerges. This is leading to mass confusion in the church. Can your Grace help us with a solution.
Finer Things in Life
“Two things you need about in life, women and booze. Each by themselves have the makings of a good time but mixing the two makes you a dumbass.”
– Red Forman from “That 70s Show”
Divine Providence
God smiles down upon many with good fortune, as for me He smirks.
Political Correctness
“I’m shocked at some of these bible stories, some of these images are so violent and terrifying I’m afraid they’d traumatize the youngsters. So I took the liberty of editing them, for instance “Daniel in the Lion’s Den”. I changed it to “Daniel in the Petting Zoo”.”
– adapted from “Kudzu” comic strip
Proof of God
Recents studies have shown marathon running is bad for the heart by overstressing it and on the other hand drinking beer is good for the heart may even reduce risks of certain cancers.
Heavenly ATM
You know how everyone says “May God reward you.”; well does the Church have a special office in charge of disbursements, where one can go to get an cash advance on his/her heavenly reward.
Not So Spiritual Words 