“You can know the color of the egg a chicken will lay by the color of its earlobes, chickens that lay white eggs have white earlobes, and browen eggs come from chickens that have red or brownish earlobes.”
-Martha Stewart
Author: mrnotso
Agnostics
“We had an agnostic family move into town, so we ended up burning a giant question mark on their lawn.”
– Milton Berle
Lesson 2
A fun harmless means of getting even is if you know the e-mail address of your target is to register them for every newsletter/pic/joke/etc. of the day you come across. While they will be able to easily unsubscribe, the fact they sell mailing lists will keep the victim innundated with junk e-mail for weeks. (things get real interest if you have a work address and sign them up for daily e-mailings of an adult nature)
Hints for the Fast
Tahina and duck sauce are NOT a substitute for peanut butter and jelly.
Foul Foul
“Abstain from beans. There be sundry interpretations of this symbol. But Plutarch and Cicero think beans to be forbidden of Pythagoras, because they be windy and do engender impure humours and for that cause provoke bodily lust.”
–Richard Taverner
Science Vs. Religion
“The church saves sinners, but science seeks to stop their manufacture. ”
– Elbert Hubbard
Prayer of the Long Distance Driver
O Lord, keep us from all stalls, crashes, flats, knocks, pings and all manner of transmission trouble and engine distress.
Make, O Lord, straight our roads and disperse all the traffic jams of the enemy.
Protects also from all evil that may befall us on the path.
The state trooper and his radar gun blind them,
The rubber-necker cut his neck asunder,
The slow driver in the left lane trample under wheel speedily.
So cover us with Your heavenly insurance, for which there is no deductable. For we have no co-pilot at the wheel but You for You send to us the tow truck driver, mechanic, and all manner of road side help.
Amen
You Know You’re in Financial Trouble When. . .
- Grocery shopping at the 99 cent store is not just a viable option but necessary.
- Your bank statement reads like a tragedy.
- You have trouble writing checks because tears keep smearing the ink.
- The ATM makes crying noises when you access your account.
- You no longer can look the bank teller in the eye.
- You start to catalog all the organs you have 2 of or could live without to sell.
- Ramen noodles are now a luxury item.
- You find yourself paying more and more in loose change (mostly pennies)
- A coffee cup becomes a career option.
- You think nothing of ketchup sandwiches
Copyright
Your Grace,
Is it wrong to try and hack bible software so I can get it for free? I’m only doing this out of my great love for the word of God. Also isn’t a sin for that company to force people to pay for it. I mean Christ, Himself, freely gave His life up on the cross so ALL may be saved. I don’t remember reading in the bible (though I would know for sure if the evil company didn’t lock their bible software) our Lord asking the apostles to ante up a gold piece each before he headed towards Golgotha. And when the Holy Spirit inspired the men who wrote the bible, nowhere is it recorded that the Holy Spirit povide inspiration and for a 15 day trial period and then made them pay for it. Am I not doing the Lord’s work by hacking this software? and I would freely distribute it, I would not be greedy with.
Life Sucks
“Life is not a bitch, its that snivelling little rat-faced punk who pushes you when your back is turn and would kick you when you were down.”
-unknown
Not So Spiritual Words 