Author: mrnotso

Courtship Advice

After much anthropological observation of the Coptic male attempting a courtship ritual here are some suggestion:
1. Hitting on women does not involve physical assault. (who knew!)
2. Get the woman’s name right before talking to her.
3. If the woman is walking away from you as your talking to her, don’t yell so she can hear you as she walks away. Stop talking and retain what little dignity you have left.
4. Because she does not run away from you while you’re talking to her, its not because she’s interested in you but because she’s polite.
5. Telling her “You really need to get to know her” is not a good opening line.
6. No need for desperation, you will not shrivel up and die if you do not marry by a certain age (despite what your mother tells you in every phone call)
7. Stalking, while anectdotally successful, is not technically legal.
8. A restraining order is not playing hard to get.
9. It helps greatly if you both can speak the same language fluently.
10. Used a a patent-pending Coptic Pickup line from “Not So Spiritual Words” (there has 1 documented success!)

Dear Abby?

know its a forward but for some reason it strikes me as hilarious (wish
I could come up with stuff like this)

——— Forwarded message ———-
From: “Jane Doe”
To: CoptsTalk@yahoogroups.com
Date: Thu, 02 Jun 2005 23:44:52 -0500
Subject: [CoptsTalk] Current epidemic sweeping our culture

Dear fellow Copts and brothers and sisters in Christ,

I am writing this email anonymously. This is not my normal email address and not my normal profile so as to avoid anyone knowing who I am. Please do not try to find out who i am. The reason I am doing this will be come apparent when you read this email.

I am concerned about the problem, actually more the epidemic that is happening throughout our American culture. And our little Coptic community is a microcosm of this culture phenomenon. We are not getting married. There is a breakdown in the cultural value for family and for matrimony. As a woman, I’m writing this because I’d like to understand what is happening, especially from the man’s perspective. I think that I am not desperate, or maybe I am. But I see these beautiful young women, women that are walking with the Lord, serving, have promising careers; graceful, strong, amazing young ladies. And I just wonder, what’s going on? Where are the men? There is obviously nothing wrong with the girls. And from
what I observe there doesn’t seem to be any major issues with the guys.

So I just want to know what the issues are. I’m hoping that bringing this up will create some discussion and hopefully change the current dynamic or rather static situation. I seriously would not be so worried about it if I saw the girls getting together with the guys. But it just seems that there are more single 20
and 30 something’s then there should be.

Why does everyone make fun of some retreats calling them ‘meat markets’ and people are so cynical about other activities the churches have. Could someone please tell me what so wrong with wanting to meet someone and get hitched? What are wrong with set ups? What is the problem with coptsmatch.com? I have to be honest; something inside me has an aversion to these above-mentioned activities. But I’m wondering why? I heard once at a retreat someone telling the girls to hurry up and get married before it to late. But how can we if the men are not taking the initiative and getting to know us? And do men think that a girl in her 30′s is too old? Please be honest. What’s the truly Christian way of dealing with this? Not the Coptic way, the CHRISTIAN, BIBLE CENTERED way.

So what’s the issue? And how do we combat this situation? I hope that you guys out there will not be afraid to answer me. Maybe if we spoke about it openly we would come to some kind of understanding, Hopefully then Mars and Venus will come closer in orbit.
A few theories I have:
1. Men are afraid of commitment
2. Society and media has created the “perfect man’ and “perfect woman” to which we are comparing everyone, hence we are all picky
3. Girls are too picky so guys are afraid to ask
4. We have been taught that dating is ‘wrong’ so we chose not to date because of our reputations.

Thanks

Questioningcopt

Ps: I hope to get plenty of honest responses

Real Life Dialogue

Several Sunday School Kids: “Abouna you have to get rid of this servant. You can’t let him chaperone us on any more trips.”
Abouna: “Why?”
Kids: “He’s crazy. He has these knives and guns that shoot giant darts. He shot kyrillous and put traps to kill us. And almost stabbed us.”
Abouna: “Did you misbehave?”
Kids: “No way are you crazy. He’d shoot us and we’ll be dead.”
Abouna: “Good.”

This is actual dialog and not made up.

Signs You Pissed Off God

  • You find a giant flaming hand writing on your bedroom wall, and when finished it proceeds to smack you upside the head.
  • Icons in church stick their tongue out at you.
  • When you pray, you hear the sounds of snickering.
  • You find yourself being taken captive by Babylonians, despite the fact that the Babylonian empire hasn’t existed for thousands of years.
  • The old women in church repeatedly assault you.
  • You pray for death yet none comes, only a series of painful near misses.
  • The devil wants nothing to do with you.

Area Man Taunts Priest

After Sunday Services in St. Mercurius Church, a member of the congregation identified as Mohsen Abdou Zaki ran up to church hegumen Abouna Philemon and was heard shouting, “Haha, Its the Fifty Days and I can do whatever I want and you can touch me. Na na na na na.” He then proceeded to tear off his shirt and run up and down the length of the Church screaming “Woohoo, party time!” before exiting. When Abouna Philemon was asked for his reaction he gravely stated, “It is sad to see people discard all the spiritual gains they have made during the Great Lent.” He then quickly added “As soon as the Apostles’ Fast starts his butt is mine.”

For all those ladies who think men have an easier time in public bathrooms
http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=10285

(yes men do that sort of analysis)