To all my friends to help you have a smooth and trouble-free with that special member of the priesthood in your life, here is:
Ten Things I Have Learned Never To Do In Presence Of Clergy (in no particular order, they all particularly bad results for you)
1.Do not initiate a group prayer while a clergy member is present, unless specifically told to do so by said member of the clergy, unless you are a higher ranking member of the priesthood.
2. Do not quote scripture at a priest.
3. Do not give milk chocolates to children in church on Friday as a reward for behaving during Bible Study (unless its during the fifty days)
4. When His Holiness, Pope and Patriarch and Archbishop of the great city of Alexandria, says do not open a door; you DO NOT open that door or be within 20 feet of the door for that matter.
4a. When asked by His Holiness, why did you open the door? Do not respond It wasn’t me, even if it wasn’t you!! (The proper response if you’re curious is I have sinned forgive me)
5. For deacons, if a priest is praying the liturgy quickly, do not take your time when you respond.
6. Do not pick or bypass locks in Church without the expressed consent of the priest. Also make sure you leave them in working order when you do so.
7. When giving a ride to a member of the clergy, do your best to avoid potholes, make sure the car will not break down, and the doors to the car will open when they are supposed to.
7a. Do not drive through sleazy parts of the city (i.e. those with a high number of adult establishments) because if you get stuck because of traffic, the car ride becomes awkward very quickly.
7b. Make sure you know where you are going.
8. Do not inadvertently call monks, monkeys; especially when speaking to one.
9. Always face the door when making a humorous comment about a member of the clergy for you never know when he is going to enter the room.
9a. Always look behind you before making said comment.
10. Do not pants (i.e. pulled down a persons pants) somebody while they walk down the hall with a priest.
Dishonorable mentions (these’ll only earn you a dirty look at worst)
Do not make flippant remarks to a priest when he is in a bad mood.
Do not give a member of the clergy, those super sour candies unless you make it absolutely clear its sour