Having trouble finding last minute that perfect Christmas gift for that special someone in your life? You shouldn’t Christmas is not for another two weeks on January 7. Though if you insist on celebrating this western bacchanalia* of consurmerism, we at Not So Industries have decide to make you lives easier. With our elite cadre of Egyptian trained graphic designers we are proud to introduce Customized Icons. Have yourself or loved ones photoshopped into your favorite icon or take part in various depicted events in the life of Christ.

Be the envy of your friends when your family Christmas card photo has you and your family worshipping the newborn Christ with the shepherds (or if its just 3 of you, you can become the Magi bearing Him gifts)

For that special couple in your life, you put them in the Icon of the Harrowing of Hades and have our Savior pulling them by the hand…and many more ideas when you consult our creative team standing by.

Not only for Christmas but make great birthday gifts. For your daughters sweet sixteen you can have you daughter and her friends photoshopped in a part of the 40 virgins who accompany St. Demiana. Or imagine the joy on son’s face when he sees himself riding on the back of the horse with St. George.

So order you Customizable Icon now (before the visas expire on our elite cadre of Egyptian graphic designers and they get deported)

(thanks to W.S. for idea)

* Yes it should more accurately be a saturnalia but bacchanalia just rolls off the tongue.

Are you finding it hard to fast. Praying the Agpeya 7 times a day, 8 times too many? With a single prostration you risk a cardiac episode? That holy oil burns when it touches your skin? Or that korban cause you all sorts of gastric issues?

Its not your fault. It could be your parents. They could have stack the deck against you by making you a sin baby. Whats a sin baby, you ask? A child that was conceived during a fast, when married couples are supposed to refrain from conjugal relations.

How can you tell if you are the demonic spawn of an illicit tryst? With NotSo Industries Sin Baby Calculator App!! New and improved version 2.0 has an offset you can manually enter for premature births. Just enter your birth date and it calculates whether you were conceived in the clear or screwed for eternity. It takes into account all the vagrities of the Coptic calendar and its correlation to the Gregorian calendar, so rest assured of its accuracy.

(as an aside, you’ll see a statistically non-random distribution of birthdays of Copts correlating to periods 9 months after inter-fast periods)

Thanks to F.H.W. for the idea