2012 November

Nov 27

(You knew this was inevitable…)

Livin’ Coptic style
Coptic style

A Copt who fasts two thirds the year
A genius Copt who knows one hundred ways to cook fava beans
A Copt whose drools at macarona bil bechamel
A Copt with that kind of kitchen skill

I’m a Copt
A Copt who looks forward to the fifty days
A Copt who drinks shay bilaban in a clear glass
A Copt whose heart bursts with semna baladi
That kind of Copt

Chaotic, Obstinate
Yes you, hey, yes you, hey
Chaotic, Obstinate
Yes you, hey, yes you, hey
Yet Proud Copt until the end

Livin’ Coptic style, Coptic style
Livin’ Coptic style, Coptic style
Livin’ Coptic style

Ya Tone-deaf Deacon, Livin’ Coptic style
Ya Tone-deaf Deacon oh oh oh oh

A Copt who looks quiet but plays the def like Ibo
A Copt who only kneels when the right time comes
A Copt who can do 400 metonias with ease
A sensible Copt like that

I’m a Copt
A Copt who never loses track during the procession
A Copt who goes completely crazy when the epistle’s read in Coptic
A Copt who knows the hymn but has no voice
That kind of Copt

Chaotic, Obstinate
Yes you, hey, yes you, hey
Chaotic, Obstinate
Yes you, hey, yes you, hey
Yet Proud Copt until the end

Livin’ Coptic style, Coptic style
Livin’ Coptic style, Coptic style
Livin’ Coptic style

Ya Black-clad Teta, Livin’ Coptic style
Ya Black-clad Teta oh oh oh oh

On top of the hegumen is the bishop man, clergy clergy
I’m a Copt who knows a thing or two
On top of the hegumen is the bishop man, clergy clergy
I’m a Copt who knows a thing or two
You know what I’m saying

Livin’ Coptic style

Ya Balding Uncle, Livin’ Coptic style
Ya Balding Uncle oh oh oh oh

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Nov 26

Coptic News Network Brief

Adel Ayman Akram Agaiby, a servant in St. Marina & St. Anthony Coptic Orthodox church’s bookstore, was brutally beaten by what can be described by shocked yet bemused eyewitnesses as extremely irate and belligerent old ladies. The assault occurred after a normal Wednesday liturgy, when the terrorizing tetas descended upon the bookstore. Adel states that typically the bookstore is only open on the weekends but since he he had a day off decided to go in to get caught up on some inventory. Since he was there and the women wanted something from the bookstore, he decided to help them. The women came looking for Pope Tawadros II memorabilia to build their personal shrines to him like they did for the thrice blessed late Pope Shenouda. When Adel replied all he had were a few copies of the official photo of His holiness, what was a group of kindly old ladies turned in to cantakerous hellions.

They started to jab and poke him with their fingers and canes accusing him of disloyalty to the church. How could he not stock a wide array memoribilia with His holiness’ face on it. They were wanted such things which they had with Pope Shenouda’s face like key chains, mugs, t-shirts, sun visors, stickers, baseball caps, commemorative plates, medallions, candles, candlesticks, kerchiefs, glass cubes and lampshades among other knick-knacks. Adel at this point – in what could be described as the turning point where things crossed the line into tragedy – stated that such things were in poor taste and really did not honor the man.

At this point the pugnacious grannies started to swing their canes in earnest, while others started to pray to God that He strike Adel dead and punish him eternally for this and not hold his sin of disrespect against the patriarch against the church, while a few others cursed him as only a grandmother can with baldness, infertility, failure at all he touched, dwarfism and other things that no one thought could possibly come out of the mouths of sweet old ladies. Adel suffered several contusions, a concussion, and broken ribs since he could not defend himself since he felt it was dishonorable to raise his hands against elderly women. The beating stopped when the person giving the old ladies a ride home was leaving. Though the worst part Adel stated was seeing his grandmother take part in the assault.

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