Your Grace,
Is kissing is fast friendly? I’m speaking more so in terms of dietary terms. Occasionally when kissing there maybe an unintentional exchange and ingestion of saliva; so is that considered eating an animal product. Seeing biologically speaking we animals and we produce said saliva, would this be akin to drinking milk during the fast?
Sayedna,
If you pray the Prayers of Anointing Kings (an actual rite) on me, can I then legally claim the title? I think it would help in this job market to have on my resume that I am royalty or at the very least get me into a celebrity party or two. So when can you do this or can I have my priest do it.
Your Grace,
How many times should I let a child that is running unattended up and down the aisle during liturgy before its okay to trip them? If the parent is just meekly following the child as they do laps around the church can I trip them as well?
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taken from the Pithless Thoughts blog by Steve Robinson
(more things like that can be found on his blog and book Orthographs )
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It is decreed that among the clergy, presbyters and deacons who abstain from flesh shall taste of it, and afterwards, if they shall so please, may abstain. But if they disdain it, and will not even eat herbs served with flesh, but disobey the canon, let them be removed from their order.
– Canon 14 from the Council of Ancyra
Apparently priests and deacons can choose whether or not to eat meat but to refuse vegetables that are cooked with the meat will get them removed from the priesthood. Take that vegans by choice, see your life style is unholy. Most of all by refusing to eat of bacon that which separates us from the Jew and Muslim is a denial of the grace of God.
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* Be proud if you got the geeky reference.
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The greatest evil to befall the Coptic Orthodox church is not the Melitan Schism nor the the scourge of the Arian and Nestorian heresies nor is it the persecutions after the Chalcedonian Schism nor is it even the Islamic invasion and conquest of Egypt and all the woes that have befallen since. Also the evil of the secularism of the the modern day and the happy clappy christian syncretism that is slowly creeping in due to ignorance of God’s people both pale in comparison to this evil inflicted upon the Coptic Orthodox church.
This evil is PHOTOSHOP!!! How many more pious atrocities must the faithful Copt endure. We were silent when St. Mary floating over a field of flowers was made. We were silent when saint icon cut and paste group photos were created. We were silent when St. George on a rainbow background with a Jesus head shooting laser beams from it floats above him (I actually have said picture). No more will we hold our tongue saying to ourselves “aesthetic tastes are relative and some people may like them and be edified by them”. Who can be edified by a tote back with a light saber wielding Philopater Mercurius with day-glo lightening shooting out of him iron-on on it?! How long O Lord will the true iconodule Copt suffer? If the iconoclasts still lived they would mock us to scorn.
Rise up and destroy these images which are idols to bad taste. If you see your brother create such images smash his laptop lest he fall deeper into his sin. Or at the very least have an intervention with a graphic designer not educated in the middle east. Stop this cancer before more pious atrocities, these hate crimes against aesthetics, are inflicted by the faithful. Stop it now before these same people learn of Adobe After Effect then even our movies (as bad as they are will become worse)
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A quick tutorial for those budding psalmist on how to write a mediha, those long odes usually sung during communion or various feast days.
– Always choose rhyme over reason
– Throw in random Coptic words or phrase
– If writing in Arabic; bonus points for using Arabic terms heavily present in muslim texts (eg: ra7man, tawwaab, 3′afoour, shareef)
– If writing in English, bonus points for using vaguely Protestant sounding phrases (e.g. justified by His blood, Millenial reign etc )
– Extra bonus points for anti-semitic remarks (both Jewish and Arab)
– Strike the fear of God in the faithful by focusing on the horrors of hell. (Feel free to meditate, exaggerate and embellish on what will happen to the unfaithful)
– Place your name or a hint about yourself towards the ending as a sinner asking for everyone’s prayers
– If in doubt about the length add another 20 verses
Thanks to F.H.W. for this one
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Are you a really tall priest who serves with a shorter senior priest and find yourself when even kneeling you must hunch over during liturgy just to be able to reach the altar? Or are you a very short priest that serves with a taller senior priest and find yourself having to stand on the back of a deacon just to reach the altar? Or are you a deacon whose priest stands on his back to reach the altar? Stop your wailing and gnashing of teeth, your prayers have been answered (or at least one)….
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Be one of the first 100 callers and we’ll throw a Pope Kyrillos VI on a Rainbow Background T-shirt for free. Call us at 1-800-COPTSA1
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Not So Spiritual Words 