Aug 11
They make tunes up as they go along
They run protection rackets for good performances during weddings and funerals.
They charge by the hymn during liturgy.
They sell advertising spaces on their tonias.
The priest considers installing a metal detectors on the royal doors.
They are more familiar with RICO laws than they are with the creed.
Turf wars break out between the deacons who sit on the north side and those who sit on the southside.
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Aug 10
Fasting and Prayer (yeah I know boring but there is nothing like the satisfaction, obtained when they are struck by lightening or a church chandelier falls on them, of a prayer answer.)
Let them know you have nothing to lose. That way in their minds your threats are so much more credible since going to prison for you would not be a big deal.
Stalk them while wearing a devil mask. Jump out and scare them periodically. Its amaze how a face to face with the devil changes a child’s attitude to going and behaving in church. (on a class wide level regular show them footage of horrific exorcisms and constantly let them know the devil is out to get them)
Try an exorcism. You never know with some of them.
Medications, either you or them.
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Not So Spiritual Words 