2008 September

Sep 16

“See with what large letters I have written to you with my own hand!”
Gal. 6:11

Commentary: Apparently the Galatians as a people suffered from poor vision (or used it as an excuse to ignore him), forcing St. Paul to write in such big letters and to state that they are such large letters that can not be ignored.  In essence St. Paul can be credited from creating the first easy reader text for the vision impaired.

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Sep 15

Forget about smoking sheesha, apparently everybody should be smoking shoria.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/05/080520110415.htm

(Though you’d think with the number of liturgies priests pray they wouldn’t be so stressed.)

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Sep 11
  • Show up to church dressed as Diocletian.
  • Show up to church dressed as Diocletian and martyr a few members of the congregation (though if you pick the right ones you may be lauded as a hero)
  • Pop the cork off of bottles of champagne in church (aiming at people  is optional)
  • Running around Times Square asking “Wheres our ball?”
  • Calling Jews and mocking them that your New Years comes before theirs.
  • Wear giant novelty glasses in the shape of 1725 not necessarily inappropriate but stupid and tacky)
  • Have the church choir sing Prince’s 1999 just replacing 1999 with 1725
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    Sep 09

    Traditionally during the Fast of St. Mary’s many churches hold revival services. During which many spiritual songs regarding St. Mary are. During the singing  of one, whose refrain translates roughly as “Hurry up and appear, hurry with all your light shining forth.”, Ms. Nahed Yousri, 16, had a panic attack screaming out “Shut up all of you, what if she does appear. Shut up”.  She began running up and down the church trying to convince people to stop singing. Even to the point of running up and yanking the microphone from the deacon leading the song.  Only when she continued the the tantrum, was she restrained and her nerves calmed with a shot of sacramental wine.

    One witness, a Tant Um Mahrous, through an interpreter, stated, “I did not know why the girl was screaming. When I saw her rip away the microphone from the deacon I thought I understood, because God forgive me but he has a voice that would cause St.Mary to blaspheme. But she kept screaming afterwards so I did not understand why, maybe it is drugs. You know all those kids take the drugs they get it from all those foreign kids in school.” After Ms. Yousri had calmed down and sobered up she explained her actions. “We keep singing asking her to appear but noone thinks of what we would do if she did show up. I would pee myself, personally. For some reason I thought she might actually appear this time so I had to keep it from happening. I didn’t want to pee myself.”

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