2008 July

Jul 21

The Not So Guide to What Not to Say

Miscellaneous Meditations No Comments »

Through many years of observation we here have found many coptic males are inept in social interactions with women. So as a public service here is the:
The Not So Guide to What Not to Say

  • Do not ask her what kind of car she drives, unless you are a mechanic and have a professional interest.
  • Women, oddly enough, do not find it romantic, when you tell them you’d kill for them.
  • Inquiring about her citizenship status is not sexy.
  • Know her name, women tend to get offended when you call them by other peoples names.
  • Its okay to ask her what she does for a living not how much she makes, unless you are her accountant.
  • Complement her on clothes or looks but do not take excessive interest in her clothes, it will creep her out and have her think you are gay.
  • Quoting from Song of Songs has potential just be careful of what you choose. “How much better than wine is your love,” or “You have ravished my heart With one look of your eyes,” are decent choices. “Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon” or “Your hair is like a flock of goats” are not good options.
  • She will not become weak in the knees upon finding out you are a doctor.
  • Do not mention anything having pets unless they are of the very cute warm fuzzy variety (any thing with more or less than 4 limbs does not qualify as either cute or fuzzy)
  • Befriending her brother in hopes of getting closer to her is a losing proposition. Her brother probably has all the friends he wants and may react badly to your attempts.
  • While she may have great hips for child-bearing, it not something to be brought up in conversation with her, ever!

    • Disclaimer: No I did not learn any of this through first hand experience. Okay maybe the pet thing.

    <!–entry

    <!–post

    Jul 09

    Shows You’ll Never See on Aghapi TV

    Miscellaneous Meditations No Comments »

    Real World: Wadi El Natroun: See what happens when you take seven hermits and stick them in the same cell
    Church: An abrasive priest goes around solving the spiritual ills of the congregation.
    Relics: A team of scientists determine a saints lifestory based on their bones.
    Battlestar Galactica: What, not everything has to be a Coptic parody and I really like the show, which would never air on Aghapi
    Welcome Back, Kyrillos: A former sunday school troublemaker comes back as sunday school teacher for a class of trouble makers (wait this might actually make a good show)
    Beauty and the Deac: Deacons are paired with fashion models as they compete for a prize and learn about each others worlds.
    Survivor: Deir Abu Makar: ’nuff said
    Iron Chef Coptic: Cooking competition where the secret ingredient is always fava beans (because God knows Egyptians have come up with a thousand ways of cooking them)

    <!–entry

    <!–post

    Jul 07

    More “Facts” Learned From Sunday School Kids

    Miscellaneous Meditations No Comments »

  • Jesus was born in Cairo
  • Deuteronomy was written by St. Paul, who only wrote two epistles
  • Jesus could beat up Superman
  • The story of St. George appears in the bible
  • We look to the east when we pray so we can see the sun rise.

    • (Sad thing is I’m not making these up and they come mostly from high school age kids)

    <!–entry

    <!–post

    Jul 02

    Pride in the Name of Love

    Miscellaneous Meditations No Comments »

    There is a thin line when being a Sunday School Teacher of when to be proud of your kids, especially when the is not much to be proud of. Here is a little guide:

    Proud: None of your sunday school kids have been arrested or put in jail…
    Not Proud: It is because they are smart enough to avoid the police and leave no evidence..

    Proud: They show great zeal for the faith…
    Not Proud: Because of their zeal burn down a local mosque…

    Proud: Your kids perform acts of community serivce…
    Not Proud: Because it was legally mandated.

    Proud: Your sunday school kid entered the monastery…
    Not Proud:  It is to evade the law…

    Proud: Your kids won a spiritual/bible competition.
    Not Proud: The did so by intimidating the judges and other teams,

    Proud: They donate quite a bit to charity…
    Not Proud: it is to launder money obtained by running a protection racket on other classes.

    <!–entry

    <!–post

    <!– page nav