“The reason Santa is always so jolly is he knows where all the naughty girls live.”
– Unknown
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Your Grace,
When Jesus was asked why His disciples do not fast, He replied because the Bridegroom is with them. Isn’t He still with us? If we truly believe that during the liturgy He is truly present as flesh and blood on the altar, then the bridegroom is with us. Moreso if we recieve communion. Then why do we fast? We should not fast because otherwise we are denying the true presence of Christ on the altar during the liturgy.
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Tired of being piked to pray in any group. To ensure you never get picked again, instead of the sign of the cross start with “In The name of God, the Compassionate, The Merciful” (Bismallah, al rahman al raheem). Extra bonus if you can recite the rest of the Fatiha (first surah of the koran). Chance are you’ll never again be asked to pray.
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Sarcasm is my gift of the Spirit.
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Hear the word which the LORD speaks to you, O house of Israel. Thus says the LORD: “Do not learn the way of the Gentiles; Do not be dismayed at the signs of heaven, For the Gentiles are dismayed at them. For the customs of the peoples are futile; For one cuts a tree from the forest, The work of the hands of the workman, with the ax. They decorate it with silver and gold; They fasten it with nails and hammers So that it will not topple. ”
– Jeremiah 10:1-4
He cuts down cedars for himself, And takes the cypress and the oak; He secures it for himself among the trees of the forest. He plants a pine, and the rain nourishes it. Then it shall be for a man to burn, For he will take some of it and warm himself; Yes, he kindles it and bakes bread; Indeed he makes a god and worships it; He makes it a carved image, and falls down to it. He burns half of it in the fire; With this half he eats meat; He roasts a roast, and is satisfied. He even warms himself and says, “Ah! I am warm, I have seen the fire.” And the rest of it he makes into a god, His carved image. He falls down before it and worships it, Prays to it and says, “Deliver me, for you are my god!” They do not know nor understand; For He has shut their eyes, so that they cannot see, And their hearts, so that they cannot understand. And no one considers in his heart, Nor is there knowledge nor understanding to say, “I have burned half of it in the fire, Yes, I have also baked bread on its coals; I have roasted meat and eaten it; And shall I make the rest of it an abomination? Shall I fall down before a block of wood?” He feeds on ashes; A deceived heart has turned him aside; And he cannot deliver his soul, Nor say, “Is there not a lie in my right hand?”
– Isaiah 44:14-20
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You’ve got make them turn the other cheek
Turn the other cheek
Anytime anyone makes a fist,
You punch ‘em in the beak
It just becomes a reflex
’cause there is no time to think
Stop violence while you wreak
Righteous havoc on their cheek
Then they’ll turn the other cheek
Turn the other cheek
They’ll learn about the Bible
With your holy violent streak
It’s the one-two punch that teaches them
that they should keep it meek
They’ll be up Heaven’s creek
When they turn their other cheek.
– from “Moral Orel”
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Having to deal with the stupider members of the congregation is very mentally and spiritually draining. This isn’t common naivete or ignorance of US customs and mores or even pious simplicity; it is out and out willful pernicious stupidity the likes of which can only be cured by application of retro-active birth control and sterilization to prevent propagation of such stupidity. Such things as complaining about the poor color quality of videotape footage of Pope Kyrillos VI (which was filmed in black & white).
To revenge yourself on such members, find them and ask them the most stupid inane question that requires an elaborate answer and keep asking insisting until they give an answer. Even when they answer keep asking as if you didn’t understand. If done successfully you have frustrated to the point where they refuse to speak to you again
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Having to deal with the stupider members of the congregation is very mentally and spiritually draining.This isn’t common naivete or ignorance of US customs and mores or even pious simplicity; it is out and out willful pernicious stupidity the likes of which can only be cured by application of retro-active birth control and sterilization to prevent propagation of such stupidity. Such things as complaining about the poor color quality of video with footage of Pope Kyrillos VI (note the footage was in black and white to start with).
To revenge yourself on such members, find them and ask them the most stupid inane question that requires an elaborate answer and keep asking insisting until they give an answer. Even when they answer keep asking as if you didn’t understand. If done successfully you have frustrated to the point where they refuse to speak to you again.
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As you shop for gifts to exchange on the modern day bacchanalia that Christmas has become. The management Not So Spiritual Words has decided to highlight various products through out the holiday season.
First product are those who believe cleanliness is next to godliness. Salvation through Soap. (note the directions for use)
http://store.washawayyoursins.com/index.html
(thanx d.f. m&t.g.)
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