Videos by the Westboro Baptist Church (Apparently as Christian I haven’t been hating enough) Might not be the best thing to watch at work.
http://www.signmovies.net/videos/music/index.html
God Hates the World is a must watch.
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“I feel most ministers who claim they’ve heard God’s voice are eating too much pizza before they go to bed at night, and it’s really an intestinal disorder, not a revelation. ”
~Rev. Jerry Falwell
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Compulsive Recorder: This person will have a tape recorder or two with him and record every liturgy or service from the beginning to the very end, during which he is writing the label with extreme detail. There is a sub group who will use video cameras. It is unknown why they do this (possibly to have an alibi when suspected of terrorist acts) there is no way possible to listen to said recordings more than once…and honestly some liturgies are painful enough the first time and not keepers. They are harmless unless mention of the recordings is made to them then they become defensive.
Pseudo-Theologian: This person believes themselves following in proud tradition of Sts. Athanasius, Cyril and Severus, but they are more like Arius, Nestorius and Eutyches. They mistake being vehement for being correct. They try to work the 3 or 4 Bible verses they know into any argument relevant or not. Also they have been know to quote from the Koran thinking they spouting out Bible verses. They have been know to initiate theological discussions to show off. It is suggested all discussion with them is avoided because extended conversation with them have been known to cause one to lose their religion (mainly because they don’t want to be members of a faith that have the aforementioned belong to).
Clergy Cultist: These people follow clergy with a fanatical loyalty, believing that the sun rises and sets at the priest’s whim. That every word that they speak is Gospel, actually to the point of ignoring scripture in favor of the words of the clergy. These people may become suicide bombers. The extreme opposite psychosis also exists where they believe the clergy are utterly corrupt and lazy, it is unclear why the even bother coming to church.
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Want that photo of the family picnic to spread like wild fire throughout the Coptic community? Do you wish to have the Holy Synod to issue a statement about the picture of your latest sunday school event? Then leave it to us at Miraculous Moments, a subsidiary of NotSo Industries, where for a modest fee we turn the mudane into the miraculous. We perform all sorts of miracles, from a subtle apparitions to full out assault by the heavenly choirs.
Satisfaction guaranteed.
Disclaimer: We are not responsible for any loss of salvation, lightening strikes from above, angry visitation by saints or any other divine calamity that may result from use of our services.
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Hey There Nestorius
by the Plain White Tonias
Hey there Nestorius
Whats it like in Byzantium?
I write from Alexandria
And I give a last chance to recant
Your heresy
Because your teaching of Christotokos is
Anathema
Hey there Nestorius
Don’t dare think your friends can save you
I’ll excommunicate them too.
So give this warning another read
and confess.
Saying she is the Christokos
Is only lies
Oh She’s the theotokos
Oh She’s the theotokos
Oh She’s the theotokos
Oh She’s the theotokos
The theotokos
Hey there Nestorius
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me, Sir
His humanity and divinity
Ne’er divided
St. Mary gave birth to our God
The word in truth
Hey there Nestorius
I’ve got so much left to say
If She just gave birth to humanity
When did He became God
E’er united
Humanity and Divinity
One hypostasis
Oh She’s the theotokos
Oh She’s the theotokos
Oh She’s the theotokos
Oh She’s the theotokos
A thousand miles seems pretty far
But I will be there in Ephesus
I’d walk to there if I had no other way
To explain to you, your folly
One prosopon, two prosopa. Nonsense.
You’re not as clever as you think.
Nestorius I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you’re to blame
Hey there Nestorius
You’re a patriarch yet you teach
You can’t worship God as a baby
And I’ll be making history like I do
You’ll be anathema forever
Because you refuse to see the truth
Hey there Nestorius, She’ll get you
Mother of God
Oh She’s the theotokos
Oh She’s the theotokos
Oh She’s the theotokos
Oh She’s the theotokos
The theotokos
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The Egyptian arabic curse words meaning “to copulate” and “female genitalia” (if you don’t know them I’m sure you parents would be glad to tell you them) are actually Coptic in origin.
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Smells Like Deacon Spirit
by Salvation
Open the books
Bring your friends
Its fun to praise
And to pretend
Shes a deacon
Myself assured
I chant I chant
A paschal psalm
Ougai* (x 16)
Light the candles its fire hazard
Here we are now
Play the deff for us
I feel off-key and sacreligious
Here we are now
Play the deff for us
A mu’allem
An agnostos
A hegomen
My trianto
Yea
I’m worse at what I do best
And for this gift I feel blessed
Our little choir has always been
And always will until the end
Ougai (x 16)
Light the candles its fire hazard
Here we are now
Play the deff for us
I feel off-key and sacreligious
Here we are now
Play the deff for us
A mu’allem
An agnostos
A hegomen
My trianto
Yea
And I forget
The hymns real tune
And yet I guess and sing it out loud
I found it hard
Its hard to find
Oh well, whatever, nevermind
Ougai (x 16)
Light the candles its fire hazard
Here we are now
Play the deff for us
I feel off-key and sacreligious
Here we are now
Play the deff for us
A mu’allem
An agnostos
A hegomen
My trianto
Yea
* Ougai: Coptic Greeting (means salvation)
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Not So Spiritual Words 