When standing in church with a few people (best no clergy are present or involved) start staring or looking often towards the front of the church. Pick any point ( above and to the side of the entrance of the sanctuary is good). Just keep turning or looking in that direction eventually some will ask what you’re looking at. Point the area out and start describing something very vague. i.e.”I don’t know how to describe it. I just know it wasn’t there before. Its kind of like a hazy or cloudy patch right over there.” et. c. But do not be very descriptive or insistent. Be very casual and skeptical of what you’re supposed to be seeing, people would be more likely believe you then. Because of the power of suggestion some people will start to see the “apparition”. Being Egyptian they will repeat the story to friends and family with some embellishment and within a week or two someone who was not there will be telling you how they happened ro be in church that day when the heavens open and the saint du jour appeared.
Alternative: If you are very good with Photoshop or other photo editing software and have a digital camera. When taking pictures that you will be giving someone else. Alter one subtly, such as if there is a crowd scene maybe there happens to be saint hiding in the crowd or alter a cloud to look like someone/something. When giving the person the photos don’t mention anything or act as if you know anything. Have them notice it for themselves
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Head deacon Boutros Boutros Abdel-Malak Malik, along with half the choir deacons was arrested for running a hymn protection racket. Apparently he would approach the groom during the traditional hour-long wait for the bride and say to him,”You know, my friend, the hymn PiEpnevama. It is a very long and difficult hymn. It would be shame for it to ruin your wedding. For a donation, I and my brothers the deacon will practice it until the bride arrives and sing it perfectly for your wedding. By the way alf mubruk.” Since most had attended weddings where the deacons botched Piepnevama badly, the quickly gave in and paid a donation. Boutros and his dastardly deacons were caught when one groom had brought his own deacons with him and turned him in, mainly out jealously because they never thought to run such a scam. Abuona Dioscorus, pastor of the church, was most trouble by this news, especially so when he found out Boutros wasn’t tithing the money he recieved from his protection racket. Mr. Malik released a statement through his attorneys from the firm of Theodorus,Theodorus, Leontius and Panikarus. He states that there is nothing in the Diskolia against what I did and I will be found innocent. Mr. Malik is being held with bail until trial.
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Not So Spiritual Words 