“And let not a Christian woman bathe with an hermaphrodite; for if she is to veil her face, and conceal it with modesty from strange men, how can she bear to enter naked into the bath together with men? ”
– Didascalia Apostolorum (Apostolic Constitutions) Book I Section III Paragraph IX
I just what to know what the hell was going on in the early church for women bathing with hermaphrodites to be such an issue, that it needed to be put into canon law?
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“If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?”
– Art Hoppe
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Sayedna,
I heard one of the reasons we are allowed fish, during some fasts, is that they reproduce without intercourse. So being a geneticist, I’ve developed a cow that that can reproduce without intercourse. So can we be allowed my siami beef during the fasts now?
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“George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but he also admitted doing it. Now, do you know why his father didn’t punish him? Because George still had the axe in his hand. ”
– Unknown
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It might be time to re-evaluate your career choice when its hazardous to your health not to wash your hands BEFORE going to the bathroom.
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Your Holiness
I have an idea to get the youth more interested in the priesthood, namely the Holy Synod. Bishop baseball cards. Most people couldn’t tell one bishop from a metropolitan from a khoriepiscopos. I mean for the most part one man in a big hat and beard looks like any other man in a big hat with a beard, unless you know them personally or they have some distinctive characteristic like a funky beard. The cards can have interesting stats about each bishop such as number of excommunications or exorcisim performed. The kids would trade and collect them and in the process learn about their bishops.
Sayedna,
I’m having visitations from St. Moses the Black. He appears through my fire escape window. Each time he appears, he takes a “gift” or “donation” with him when he leaves. I assume he appears to poor families giving them what he takes because what use is a tv or a vcr to a saint. My question is, how much should I give him? Should I save my tithes and give it to him when appears?
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1. The word of the day is legs. Let’s go up to my room and spread the word.
2. Should I call you in the morning or just nudge you?
3. My name’s not Elmo but you can tickle me anytime.
4. (lick her sleeve) Well we better get you out of those wet clothes!
5. Whoops! Sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.
6. Stick with me baby and I’ll buy you rocks as big as diamonds
7. Being a multimillionaire really doesn’t mean much when you have a weak heart.
8. Hi, my name is Milk and I will do your body good
9. What color lipstick is that? I’ve never kissed that color.
10. If I could only be with you in my dreams, I would sleep forever.
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“Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.”
– unknown
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Not So Spiritual Words 