“Stop talking to me. Listening to you, is making me stupid.”
-D.F.
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“Women are the brightest and most beautiful of God’s creation, but I thank the Lord God I was born a man.”
– line from “Jesus of Nazareth” part 1
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Since there are many processions in the church during this week here is what not to do to the poor unfortunate deacon (you can tell I did this before) who carries the icon.
1. The amount blessing you receive is not related to the amount of force you use to hit the icon.
2. If you do insist on swinging at the icon, please make sure your aim is dead on.
3. On Palm Sunday, if you cannot reach the icon with your hand, that’s okay you won’t suffer fiery perdition as a result, but DO NOT swing at it with you palm branch particularly the pointy end.
4. Do not try to yank the icon out of the deacon’s hands for whatever reason; that’s not taking a blessing, its grand theft icon.
5. Do not grab the deacon or icon so some one has time to dive across the pew to reach the icon (a favorite trick of the old ladies in our church), it only cause the censer to accidentally whack the deacon in the legs.
6. Do not tug , grab or attempt to strip the deacon of his vestments(and possible clothing), there is no blessing in it and you may cause the deacon to say something he shouldn’t in church.
7. Finally please remember the deacon carrying the icon still feels pain, he is not imbued with a heavenly invulnerability by the icon ( unfortunately)
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It is no small co-incidence that Egyptians do not believe in the easter bunny and eat rabbits. The easter bunny, or more accurately bunnies, are not the fun egg and candy spreading characters depicted in the media. Rather they are sentient species of rabbit who wish to collapse society by controlling the children via various psychotropic drugs mixed with addictive ones adminstered using egg dyes and easter candy. These drugs make people highly susceptible to the rudimentary telepathy these creatures have. They use it to communicate with each other as they lack speech. Also the reason they use a addictive drug is the psychotropic drug does not last long in a person’s system. So the addictive drug keeps people eating the candy maintaining a certain level of the psychtropic drug in the human body. What the bunnies do is then push those susceptible people to be very greedy, belligerently so. Notice how upset people get if you eat their favorite colored jelly bean or eat the ears of thier chocolate bunny? So, by means of this induced belligerence they hope to destroy the family unit, sever interpersonal relationships, create generations of socially dysfunctional people and eventually cause worldwide war. But our clever Egyptian forebears noticed the strange behavior caused by these bunnies. And began their systematic elimination but being frugal as well as clever our ancestors decided to try cooking them. This lead to one of the most important of Egyptian discoveries, moulukhia. They discovered the combination of rabbit and moulukhia to be a gastronomic delight. Eventually this lead to the eradication of the sentient variant of rabbit. Thus breaking the evil influence of the bunnies over Egypt. Unfortunately, here in the west the bunnies still have great influence in society and culture. They are so firmly entrenched here in America that any thought of eating rabbit is considered highly repulsive.
Be informed and spread the truth.
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Not So Spiritual Words 