- When someone goes in to confess to abouna, people start chanting “2 men enter, 1 man leaves”
- Abouna insists on a secret passage leading out of the church be built under the altar.
- Pre-servant’s class besides lessons on theology and dogma have lessons on close quarter combat.
- Mustaches are grafitti-ed on the icons (or removed if the saint already has one)
- Instead of cymbals accompanying the hymns a boombox is used.
- Deacons are armed with stun guns during processions for their own protection.
- The old ladies in church are members of the local chapter of the Hells Angels.
Not So Spiritual Words 