The Truth About Santa

There is a misconception that Santa is a jolly fat man in a red suit that cavorts with flying reindeer. In actuality Santa is not such a benign entity. He is a megalomaniacal despot bent on eventual world domination, not unlike the UNAbomber.  He makes us believe, that he rides a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer and delivers toys to good boys and girls, by using nanotechnology,  A.K.A. microscopic robots.  What he does is manufactures tinsel containing these microscopic robots (and who has ever seen a christmas display without tinsel, think about it) and when the tinsel is touched or moved it releases thousands of these robots into the air.  They are then inhaled and burrow through the avoeli and get into the blood stream. From the blood stream the eventually attach themselves to the brain stem.  Once there, through controlled electrical discharges which he can control via radio signals which he can easily piggyback unto the worldwide GPS signals, he can make people buy things to give to others and give credit to a fat man who has a thing for midgets and reindeer, or other sorts of nonsense.

You might say that sounds harmless enough what does this have to do with world domination? I pose this question to you in reply, have you noticed christmas decorations have been going up and being put on sale earlier and earlier?  It is at the point where the christmas stuff is around before the “back to school” stuff is.  Also he use this system to make people do stupid things during the holidays such as drink eggnog ( its a raw egg milkshake for Christ’s sake).  Also what happens if he one decides to lend out the system to the easter bunny!!!
Food for thought